Curiosity - a Coaching Skill
To Build Relationships

Curiosity is a skill to master. It develops relationships and rapor, an invaluable means of building business.

Have you ever talked to someone that just wasn't interested in what you had to say. This can be so frustrating. Now put the shoe on the other foot. You have to admit that you've likely been the person doing the talking too. I know I have.

Curiosity is the perfect remedy for this kind of behaviour.

Tips to Becoming More Curious

1. Be Authentic - if you're going to be curious, try to be genuinely interested in hearing the answer.

2. Ask Open Ended Questions - open ended questions keep the conversation going. Avoid Yes/No questions that stop the conversation. Can you see the difference between the following examples:
   • Is this a captivating slogan for this ad campaign? - YES / NO question
   • What is captivating about this slogan? - More open ended
   • What would make this slogan captivating? - Most open ended

3. Go for the Undiscovered - when you become curious with another person, shoot for the undiscovered answer. Pretend that you don't have the answer and think that the other person doesn't know it yet either. By asking good open-ended questions, who knows what will come of it. Look at the graphic to know what I'm talking about. The large circle is all the information in the world. The smallest bubble is what you know. The medium bubble is what you know you don't know. What's left over is all the information you don't know you don't know.
   
   

   

4. Explore the Other's Interests - especially in a networking setting, it is much easier to ask questions about someone's interests. If someone likes football, engage them in that sort of conversation by asking them things like:
   1. When did you first get interested in _____________?
   2. What do you like best about _____________?
   3. What do you like least about _____________?
   4. Etc....

5. Practice, Practice, Practice - Many of us are set in our ways. And if we are used to giving information instead of seeking it with curiosity, it may take some practice to get better at stepping back and being curious.

Common Pitfalls of Curiosity

1. Confusing Curiosity with Interrogation - asking a lot of questions in a row can come across as aggressive behavior and will close off the communication rather than open it up. "What's that about?" "Why are you doing that?" "Where are you going?"

2. Self-Promotion - When you are being curious for purely self-serving purposes, the other person will be able to tell. You may still get the answer you are looking for but relationships will suffer in the long run.

Practice Exercises

• What do they want?
• What are their greatest challenges?
• What does my ideal client read?
• Where does my ideal client seek information?
• What are the values of my ideal client?

Even if you have done this exercise before, explore it some more to see if there is something new for you.

Or, try spending some time on the phone with some of your customers or potential customers. Ask them what they want and take notes. Make a point of asking as many open ended questions as possible. You'll be amazed at what people are willing to tell you if you just ask.

Get curious and get going.